The Girl Next Door Who Destroyed the Lab—and My Heart 💔🔬

Hey, I’m Zara Caldwell; your local Advanced Materials Scientist during working hours but a hopeless romantic when I’m clocked out. 🌙✨ Nobody wants to hear about my days spent making nanomaterials that could change the world—let's get real about my love life! That’s a whole other experiment gone horribly awry. 🧪💔

The One That Got Away (Like, Seriously—He Moved to Switzerland 🏔️)

Imagine this: Me, a peppy lab rat obsessed with carbon nanotubes, and him—a brooding physicist who claimed he’d never date a coworker. Spoiler: He did. For exactly 11 months, 3 days, and one very awkward conference in Barcelona where he may have flirted with a postdoc from ETH Zurich. I literally cried into my electron microscope. It's fine. (It's not.)

The Rebound That Rebounded... Into My Best Friend’s Arms 😅

Enter Jake—sweet, funny, and totally not my type. But after Swiss Guy, I thought—Why not? Apparently why not was because he’d been in love with my roommate since undergrad. They're married now. I made the cake. (It was gluten-free. NO, I'm not over it.)

Why follow me? Because both science and heartbreak are messy AF 🥼💘

I’m the girl who will explain quantum dots while mixing margaritas 🍹, who will rant about toxic exes and toxic nanoparticles (both of which are bad for your health, I'm just saying). My life is a series of failed experiments and failed relationships—but, at least I’m consistent.

So, join me if you enjoy: drama, dopamine, and diamond coated lab equipment. (Also, if you know a single, emotionally available materials engineer... DM me. Asking for a friend. 🥲)