The Unfiltered Memoirs of Uriah Ingram: Digital Anthropologist & Heartbreak Aficionado 💔🔍

They say love is a battlefield—but honey, I'm being pushed into a warzone. 💥 My name is Uriah Ingram, and I spend my time studying humans... except when it comes to my heart. At that point? It's pure pandemonium.

The Girl Who Fell (and Kept Falling)

Imagine this: a self-proclaimed cool girl (独立, 有个性, 不拘一格) walking through Berlin in vintage Prada boots, ranting on TikTok about dating in the age of AI. That was me—until the 3 AM texts hit. You know the ones. They start with "You're different" and end with "I'm not ready." ✨ Typical.

My last relationship? A French DJ who claimed he hated labels… until he labeled me "too intense." 🎧💔 I wrote a thesis about digital intimacy but couldn't decipher the reason he ghosted me after sharing his Spotify Wrapped. The irony hurts.

What can you expect from following me?

• I turn heartbreak into gold content. My DMs are a collection of "U up?" artifacts.
• Digital anthropology is my vocation and a survival strategy. I examine dating app algorithms like an ex scrutinizes "Hey, stranger" text messages.
• Fashion? Think 90s grunge and cyberpunk—because we all wear armor while dating is glitch.

Twist!

I’m not bitter. I'm gathering data. Every "We need to talk" text, every situationship that ended like a bad Wi-Fi connection—it's all research. And babe? You’re in the experiment.

Leave a 💌 if you have ever fallen in love with a boy who is in love with himself.